Leaders and Conflict Resolution

I got this very insightful tips on conflict resolution: Worth the time in reading:
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1. Act quickly. "Conflict is highly viral," Murphy said. "Each hour, day or week you avoid dealing with it, it will grow" as your reputation diminishes. "Leaders who don't manage conflict often find their own performance called into question."

2. Define the moment -- and yourself. Don't delegate responsibility for managing conflict. Use it as an "opportunity to establish (yourself) as a leader," Murphy said.

3. Clarify:Resolve conflicts in a way that "clarifies and reinforces individual and team responsibility," he said.

4. Never take sides. Correct individuals privately. Even if someone's clearly at fault, it does little good to say so publicly. You'll reinforce team anger toward the person, and damage your relationship with him or her. Addressing the conflict usually reveals ample blame.

5. Teamwork: Make resolving the dispute a group effort. Without pointing fingers, "sort out who should own what, and encourage each individual to acknowledge" it, Murphy said.

6. Big Picture: "Resolve conflict in favor of the (organization)," he said. Never "accord victory to one party over another."

7. Face conflict one at a time. "Acting on multiple conflicts dissipates your energy and focus," Murphy said. "The (public) resolution of one conflict can send a clear signal to other people as to how you'll handle their situations." They'll get the message -- and likely resolve the dispute themselves. When several conflicts have a common theme, get everyone together and hash the issues out. You'll save time -- and likely prevent similar disputes down the road.

8. Get to the root. Focus on the causes of conflict, not the symptoms. Doing the latter highlights surface issues and encourages discord.

9. Start with positives. When resolving disputes, begin with issues everyone agrees on, says communications coach Ronnie Moore, author of the just-released book "Why Did I Say That?" Example: "We've all worked here a long time and have achieved a great deal together. You're a talented group whose talents play well off each other." You've given a sincere compliment -- and provided motivation to resolve the conflict.

9. Apologize. If you've contributed to the problem -- perhaps by not addressing it sooner -- admit it. You'll set a conciliatory tone, Moore says.

10. Frame it. "Sometimes changing a word or phrase can communicate a more positive intention," Moore said. "Saying 'I can do this if you'll do that' is more collaborative than 'I can't do this unless you do that.' Too many times, we put a negative frame around a message that could be communicated positively."

Lastly, acknowledge without agreeing. Acknowledgment tells the other person you heard what he said. Until all parties "feel listened to," Moore said, they won't listen to you